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Yesterday Kanye West released a 35 minute long video for his new single “Runaway”.  I’ve been a fan of most of the new stuff he’s been releasing, so I was curious as to how you make a 35 minute “film epic” out of a 5 minute long song.  At some point it occurred to me that I should record my thoughts on what was sure to be an interesting video to say the least.  So here you have it, a live blog of my first and probably last viewing of Kanye West’s “Runaway”.

 

00:07  Kanye is running away from something.  How literal.

 

00:30  A woman with a strange accent is saying strange things.  Bon Iver sample in the background though.

 

01:12  Kanye is driving through the woods in a Lamborghini.  Weird shots of deer and a lava/sun explosion.

 

02:13  Still driving, and I’m getting kind of bored with the rapping.  I guess that’s how you stretch this song out to 35 minutes.

 

02:48  Kanye has been hit by the giant fireball thing, and a bird-looking woman has landed.  He carries her to safety as something explodes behind him. Sweet.

 

04:05  Bird woman wakes up on Kanye’s house watching the news.  She has that weird twitch that birds do down pretty well.  The news just switched into a language other than English.  Hmm.

 

04:37  Kanye walks into the room.  “First rule in this world, baby, don’t pay attention to anything you see in the news.”  EXPLOSION.

 

05:12  Bird woman is exploring her new world, playing with sheep and bunnies.  Kanye is watching from inside like a total creeper.  Oh also, bird woman is dressed in these feathery wing things that hardly cover anything besides her back.

 

06:12  Kanye is playing samples from his other single (“Power” I think) and bird woman is twitching around on the couch.  Now she is up and dancing while Kanye stands there faking his button pressing.  The music here is actually pretty neat.

 

07:16  A strange little boy dressed in red is running with a thingy that is shooting out red smoke.  FIREWORKS.

 

07:54  Kanye is taking bird woman on a date?  I guess.  They are watching fireworks as a marching band performs in front of them.  Crazy dancers with fireworks.  There is also a giant head of what appears to be Michael Jackson.

 

08:59  I wish I had enough money to make crazy videos with bird ladies and fireworks and giant Michael Jackson heads.

 

09:30  The little boy appears to be dressed in a KKK outfit, but it might be red.  That also might just be from the crazy red thing though.

 

10:05  Bird lady has her first encounter with a cup.  She struggles at first, but seems to get the hang of it.  Her giant fingernails seem to get in the way.

 

11:00  Kanye is at a giant dinner with 37ish other people.  He brings bird woman.  I guess this is another date.  Everyone is dressed in white, as the bird lady walks in in all her bird-ness.  People are confused.  All the black and white is bringing back memories of when Kanye used to perform with that orchestra during his Late Registration tour.

 

12:27  Bird woman’s cup practice pays off, as she gets to use one for real.  She took a whole loaf of bread though, not sure what that was about.

 

13:06  A man asks Kanye is he realizes his girlfriend is a bird.  He says, “No, I never noticed that”.  Deep shit.  I think the man also asked if they met in a zoo. Awkward dinner conversation.

 

13:41  Without responding, Kanye gets up and goes to a piano in the corner.  He starts playing and a whole troop of ballet dancers come running in!  Yeah, this really reminds me of that Late Registration orchestra now.

 

15:23  The dancers are dancing away while everyone but Kanye eats.  This is actually pretty neat.  Bird lady is watching intently, because she’s a bird.

 

16:30  Still dancing, but now everyone is toasting to the douchebags.  Kanye gets on top of the piano, but the piano continues to play.  MAGIC.

 

17:44  Still dancing, now with close up slow-mo shots.  This is the best part so far.  Tu-tus are really weird though.

 

19:00  Still dancing.  Say what you want about Kanye, he certainly makes some interesting things.

 

20:45  The dancers have been frozen for a while now, as the camera pans around them.  I am getting bored again.

 

21:36  I enjoyed the ballet at first, but this is a little much.  Tu-tus are still really weird.

 

22:50  ….

 

23:04  The dancers are leaving to applause.  Bird woman liked it apparently, even though she’s a bird.

 

23:36  I forgot to mention, all the people eating at the super long table are black, while the people serving them are white.  Interesting.

 

23:58  A bird is served to the table.  Bird woman is flipping out.  That could be her son or something.  She is wailing like crazy.  Everyone leaves but Kanye, who seems upset.  I guess that’s why you don’t date a bird woman.  EXPLOSION.

 

24:50  Aphex Twin’s “Avril 14th” is sampled here.  I can’t but hear “Iran So Far”.  Bird woman looks sad as she plays with her sheep.  How can you be sad when you are playing with a sheep?  Birds don’t make sense.

 

25:45  CLOUDSPLOSION

 

26:04  Bird woman talks!  About statues?  Pictures of the frozen dancers.  DEEP.  She is now talking about individuality and junk.  Apparently she is a Phoenix.  “I’ll never let you burn.” KISS.  What a sweet? moment.  More Bon Iver sampling.

 

27:20  Kanye is boning the bird woman.  What king of offspring do you think they’ll make?  EXPLOSION.  I actually like this with the Bon Iver in the background.

 

28:42  Kanye is laying on the ground outside somewhere.  LOST.  He has really weird shoes on.  Like girls shoes.

 

29:28  Kanye is now running in his girl shoes, right as the song gets going.  EXPLOSION.  Bird woman rises out of the explosion this time.

 

30:00  The first shot is replayed, Kanye running down a street in the woods.  METAPHOR.  He doesn’t look that fast.

 

30:25  Bird woman is flying around doing weird things.  She does have a golden breastplate thing on now.  Probably for better aerodynamics while flying.  Still no pants though.

 

31:24  Bird woman shoots up into the sky in a fireball.  I guess she is off to another planet where a rapper can make another weird video about her.

 

32:00  The end.  Credits

 

33:37  There are a lot of credits.  Filmed in Prague.  Interesting

 

34:26  Applause, I’m guessing it’s Kanye clapping for himself.

 

So there you have it.  I can’t say I didn’t like it, as it was certainly interesting at parts.  The ballet bit went for a little too long, but overall it held my attention pretty well.  On a scale of “Really dumb, for real” to “Flippin’ sweet”, it gets an “enjoyable”.  Kanye also never disappoints with the weirdness factor.  Giant Michael Jackson head?  Check.  Sex with a bird woman?  Check.  Little children dressed in KKK outfits?  Check.  If you have a half hour to kill or just want to procrastinate like me, give it a watch.

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